Fix examples gallery
IELTS Writing Fix Examples (Band 6 → Band 7)
Each example shows a before sentence, why it loses marks, and a Band 7 direction — then you can run the same type of fix on your own essay.
改前
Technology is very important in modern life.
为什么丢分
Too general. It does not develop a clear argument.
Band 7 改写方向
Technology improves daily convenience, but excessive digital dependence can also make modern routines more stressful.
改了什么
- clearer position
- more specific vocabulary
- stronger contrast
- less repetitive wording
改前
Firstly, phones are useful. Secondly, they help communication. Thirdly, they save time.
为什么丢分
The paragraph lists points without developing one central idea.
Band 7 改写方向
Smartphones mainly help people coordinate daily tasks faster, although constant notifications can interrupt deep work.
改了什么
- one developed idea
- logical progression
- qualifying clause
改前
This is a big problem for many people in society.
为什么丢分
Vague words like big, many, and society do not show precise meaning.
Band 7 改写方向
Rising housing costs create financial pressure for young professionals in major cities.
改了什么
- specific subject
- precise nouns
- concrete context